By now you know that I am the proud wife of a truck driver, and I find myself answering some questions about his career, as thou a lot of people might not understand the crazy it is. The rules behind it, the regulations that need to be followed, and how hard it is for us the family. Remember being a wife is a huge responsibility and because I am speaking of one particular group doesn’t mean the other groups aren’t important. It’s just I am part of this group so I know more in detail.
My husband is a trucker, and with that comes time on the road something we deal with constantly, it takes a strong, independent, extremely understanding woman to be married to one. As a wife of a trucker I can tell you is tough, to put it kindly, is a lonely, emotional, unsupported sometimes even one-way relationship. Let’s explain each one in more detail:
You by now know I have 4 children, and loneliness can be a lot more complicated, some days when your children are asking 120% of you and you only have 75% to give, because your mind is not in the right place, that other 25% is thinking maybe he took a new run, or is farther away, or is tornado season and your mouth is in your heart. Doctors appointments, emergencies, and even the daily easy things become depressive at times if you are married to a trucker, reason why strength is needed in this relationship. Don’t get me wrong I am extremely proud of and amazed at what he does when I have the opportunity to see it.
From his perspective he will tell you living in a box is not his idea of spending a daily sometimes weekly nights either. He will rather be home and dealing with the chaos with me. Sometimes as loneliness kicks in, you tend to feel as though he doesn’t care, please be careful, with this thoughts, a soon you start having them you need a 911 conversation with your trucker.
The Sleeping Box: One thing I like is you can call anytime and ask if he is trucking or unloading if the answer is tracking you caught yourself a free time of talking to him, of course now this time is not fully yours, as his brain has to deal with the CB radio, the interstate, the people that don’t behave on the road, the famous people that pull in front of them as a tractor-trailer can stop in a dime!
So now let me began to explain the second part, Emotional: NOTE: If you are married and have no kids, am sorry, I have kids so I can only speak about it, with family.
Well if you have kids and have gone through pregnancy, the emotional roller coaster you went through is now going to be a daily routine of yours, and your mind will play games as though you are going through post-par-tum depression. I will insist!, having a great support system is a MUST! I am creating this space because I don’t have many places to go for online support. I am also asking you in addition to online support that you have a group of friend/s you can have for the insane days or the emergencies when online can’t help. You will have days where time feels standing still, next thing you know you are already cooking dinner and getting your kids to bed. You will have days that are awesome especially when your trucker is home. Treasure them because knowing he has to leave can make that time with your trucker pass on way to fast leaving you with a sad feeling inside, knowing that you want it to be special and that all he wants to do is rest and/or chill because he knows sooner he is going to go back in that box for a couple of days, maybe a week, or two weeks. So you will feel as though you are the happiest woman alive, yet within a min, you will feel as though you hate life because you know whether is hours, or days he will be gone and then you are left with it all again.
Here you will see why one connects to the next; Unsupported: I say this slightly don’t get me even started, you will feel supported by your husband, this is what makes the relationship work, however! when emergencies happened and he is not available, or you are in that desperate need to talk, and he having a conversation with you yet he is as I call it in trucker mode, you pretty much are talking to the wall, and in those times you need to realize that you will feel anger or disappointment, yet this feelings aren’t real, they are just a way of feeling unsupported by your trucker. Remember he might be talking to you, yet his office is demanding so much of him visually, mentally, that if they can give us a 10% we must take it. When you have kids, and you manage to have the time and go for a ride with your trucker at times become very small windows of opportunity because you become the rock of your household. Remember feeling unsupported in the relationship and not being supported by your husband are two different things. And if you are feeling any of this you need to have a sit down with your trucker. Now a fine line between unsupported is One Way Relationship: Why do I say this! simple, he is on the road so much that when he comes home he doesn’t plug in right away, it might take hours or even a day for him to unplug for something he is been doing for 7 to maybe 14 days. So yes it can feel as though you are in a one-way relationship, you must remember you should be talking to your trucker about this. Another way you can feel as though you are in a one-way relationship is you are talking to your trucker, remember I said the beauty of having him trucking you can talk to him?… it is a balancing act however as he is worried about a million other things, so when you want to continue a conversation when he is finally home. Let’s just say you have to remind him, or tell the story all over again.Is not a truckers fault as they have to worry about a million things in the road, however, when they come home, we expect something sometimes we will have and some other we will not. I will say this the more responsibilities he takes on the road the harder it becomes. A trucker’s Office:
Supporting your husband definitely helps with making the relationship stronger. And keeping the communication open is always a good sign of a healthy relationship. I am not gonna say is perfect we all are going to have our ups and downs, the important thing is we get out of it on top. I think I cover the main part of handling a trucker in your life, many more ideas to come, if you have anything else to add or share please let me know.